I Have a List of Desirable Traits. Exactly why is it problematic for Women to Commit?

I Have a List of Desirable Traits. Exactly why is it problematic for Women to Commit?

Reader Question:

Me: 46 years of age, African-American male, specialist career, property owner, beautiful, 20-year-old boy. I date outside of my personal competition. Im in very good form.

It seems up to ladies wish to have a committed union, they don’t really should commit to myself. I do have a “list” of desirable characteristics — appealing, capable resolve her funds, a social or nondrinker and a person that is actually eager and able to take a trip and do things.

Just why is it hard for women to commit whenever I give external signs of attempting to maintain a loyal union?

-Mark (California)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Mark,

Yes, so many ladies are behaving like males (or the way they THINK males act) and are generally avoiding commitment. However, I will let you know there are a lot more women who desire a safe attachment than maybe not.

I’m thinking the reason why you may seem as attracted to women who avoid a solid bond. Could this be your option in goals?

My personal recommendation is to try to keep in touch with ladies that you will most likely not in the beginning end up being keen on to discover any time you heat up for them. Often the inability to obtain a secure relationship relates to our fears of abandonment.

Put simply, we decided to go with lovers which can’t get close to shield us from becoming “dangerously” shut and risk abandonment.

Decide to try dating the sort of person you’ve never, actually ever dated prior to. Go-slow. And watch your feelings as you go along.

Do you become conveniently envious, like to manage the woman time or want to close the offer too quickly? The key will be consist of your self and quell your personal anxieties.

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